I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep
It occurred to me last night that I blog on most days. This must mean I'm on the internet everyday. It follows on that I'm a loser and I have no life. Sure, if I was doing something worthwhile it'd be excusable. But I'm not. I write half my blog, flick through some others (perhaps looking for a bit of inspiration), visit a forum that I post on... which I actually don't really post on anymore, I just read it (which is pointless really because it's full of shit), sign into MSN where I have a half decent "conversation" with someone about once every two weeks, write the rest of my blog and go to bed.
In conclusion, the internet is the most time-wasting pass time in the history of the Western world. Possibly moreso than masturbation.
I think that when I'm on my death bed, I will tot up all the wasted hours I've spent doing things I don't want/need to. And I approximate it'll add up to about 4 full years (that's assuming I don't die in the forseeable future, in which case it'll be about 6 months). Yet again, I have spent most of my day procrastinating and doing nothing worthwhile. This type of routine is bad for self-esteem.
This also raises the question of why I'm actually writing this. I'm sure as hell that nobody who happens to stumble across it actually cares. And am I actually gaining anything from it myself? Probably not. I suspect that it's because I'm subconsciously trying to justify spending a lot of time doing nothing by pretending that I will someone how gain emotional and spiritual benefits.
I'll let you know if I ever do.
Why is it that I feel comfortable typing a load of shit for people I don't know to read, yet I feel that people who I do actually know and trust (there are such people you know..) would somehow be put off if they were to read it. I'm hoping this isn't because I somehow lack the ability to be myself, or I have the dreaded, but extremely contagious, teenage-disease known as FPS (False Personality Syndrome, for those of you not in the know).
And just incase you're wondering what the post title is about (like you even noticed) I think I'm developing some sort of sleeping disorder. 10 hours of extremely poor quality sleep a night = me feeling shitty most of the time. Of course, I don't actually need someone to help me sleep, I need something. Namely in the form of a sleeping tablet or the like. Although someone would be nice, too. On my list of favourite things I think that being held by someone I care about (preferably a male.. with an ellegantly toned physique) whilst I sleep would be somewhere very close to the top.
I will leave you with this thought/random lyric:
"When everybody loves you, you're just about as funky as you can be"
posted by onlyme @ 2:25 pm
4 Comments:
There's nothing wrong with a spot of reflection, and many people have written diaries for the purpose (without wanting those they 'know and trust' to see them).
The only difference now is that you can choose to broadcast your personal thoughts to the world, and even get some conversation going about them, while still maintaining your privacy.
Perhaps it's a new form of prayer?
PS. Avoid sleeping tablets - try some exercise instead.
"seriously", where did I ever say I was 19? I could be 12 for all you know. In which case I would be an excellent speller for my age group. Unfortunately I'm not 12.. but I still consider myself to be quite a good speller, thanks.
My other point was going to be in the form of a "fuck off". This is my blog. That's right, fucker. MINE. I will therefore write about MYSELF, in which ever way *I* want to - bad spellings and all. If I wanted to write about someone other than myself I'd become a fucking writer, although I'm sure my spelling isn't quite up to scratch for that, no? If I want to be angsty, then I will do so. I write things here for myself, not you.
Appreciated.
Although, the reasons for me creating a blog wasn't to comment on the wonderful things and how happy I am. I'm actually not a generally happy person in real life. I'm extremely sarcastic, but not angsty. I don't think or in any way believe that I am a victim of anything (except an extremely dysfunctional family) and it personally annoys the hell out of me to hear about people who are all like "uhh my mum wouldn't buy me an ipod for christmas and i have a broken heart that isnt actually broken because i dont actually have any idea about what love is because im incredibly superficial and too consumed in atticus clothing listening to bright eyes" blah blah blah etc etc. and it insults me that someone might think that of me. I am aware that my posts are full of angst, and you probably picture an anorexic 14 year old sitting in front of her computer with black nail varnish and avril lavigne in the backgroud... and for part of that you'd be correct because avril lavigne RoXoRz and she owns you all. But that's about as far as it goes.
And although I never really wanted, as such, any feedback on anything (since I'm not writing this for any purpose other than my own) any given would be more appreciated if it was polite. (Says she who put fuck in the last reply about 6 times..) but my point is that telling somoene to grow up and that they're self-indulgent isn't exactly constructive critisism, is it?
I too much prefer this title, and I have Mr Duritz to thank for that. But no, I still have no idea how to spell annnonononymoose correctly.
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