Siamese Dream

I often go to write stuff here, get about a paragraph in, realise I'm nowhere near saying what I mean and delete it all. Pointless? Yes. But nothing is completely pointless when you're the untimate procrastinator.

I rarely mean what I say and even more rarely do I say what I mean. We're always in the same place- having the same conversations, trying to explain the same things (in the blind hope that someone might catch your drift), going through the same feeling(s) we've been through tens of times before, each time making less sense than the time before (because, afterall- you've been here before, why was the lesson not learnt?), the people are the only non-constant thing. And that is the longest sentence in the history of blogging. I need to work on my punctuation.
I tend to fall for people who are emotionally intelligent. Some people have a way of making sense of things that are completely nonsensical to me. When I say this, I'm talking about Dan. I just like to make it impersonal because Blogs that talk about actual people annoy me. It's not like anybody knows who they fuck they're on about...

I'm annoying myself with the fact that I'm still in my awkward teen "meeehhhhhh I'm uncomfortable with myself, GIVE ME AVRIL!" phase. But if things made sense, they'd be less interesting, right? And doesn't the fact I'm aware of this make me less teen-like? Why do I have problems with being a teenager? Why am I asking my blog rhetorical questions?

I was talking to RAF guy last night. And it dawned on me that he has no idea what the fuck I'm on about. And I don't mean that in a pretentious way. I just think we're not very much like each other. He thinks we are. I don't know who is right.
Example, I have a tendency towards texting people song lyrics instead of anything original:
me: sometimes I quote songs because what I take from them makes more sense than anything I could say. But then people take different meanings from lyrics, so I guess I should stop doing it...
him: yeah, I know what you mean. Like, you could text me saying "I am colorblind" (Counting Crows song) and I would take from it that you're feeling confused and lost etc etc, but you could send it to someone who has never heard the song and they would think 'Shit! She's colourblind!' (because we English folk can spell properly).

He really didn't get what I meant. And I think most of the time he takes what I say to mean something in the simplest way possible. This is either because I'm shit at expressing myself, because he thinks I'm simple and not capable of anything more, or because he's stupid.